You’re so vain, you probably think this blog is about you

A little housekeeping note: I am a writer. What I write here and in my memoir is about my life. Sometimes I share bits about those who play starring roles in my life, like my husband, my children, and my close friends. I also sometimes share about my past (and, of course, my memoir is about my past). I write about MY life, MY family, MY experiences, not someone else’s family. (I’ve received inquiries of late asking about the book I wrote about someone else’s family. I’m addressing that question publicly since the email bounced back.)

I shall now entertain the rest of you for a moment before we get on with the words -

It’s a Doctor Who thing!

So, we are now officially in our new place. With the exception of a few boxes, we are settled in and comfortable. For the first time in months, I feel balanced. Limbo and uncertainty are not places I like to hang out.

Our new home, which is kind of a cabin, is small and cozy, and I really love it. I wasn’t sure at first how we’d fit – 4 grown people, 3 dogs, and 1 cat – but it’s actually good! My office is no longer a room but rather a corner of the living room. Again. And I even love that. As I write this, my husband and the pups are napping in the same room and I can look around and admire each of them. I’m working in the middle of our life again, instead of holed up in another room. I like this best, and it also gives me better reasons not to stockpile things I might need (but end up never actually using).

We purged a lot with this move, and I feel really good about that. I hate owning too much, and yet I’m very good at getting too much and holding on to too much. I am hopeful to begin living with less as we go on. Read a book – send it on. Don’t wear something for more than one season – send it on. Dust collectors – send ‘em on.

We also learned we will never, ever, ever, ever again move into a house that sits atop 33 stairs. Or even 23. Or even 13. Maybe 5, tops.

Now that we are settled in, I’m getting back to business, both writing- and photography-wise. I’m really excited because I love new beginnings, and I love the challenge of re-building what was once already on its way to being successful (my definition of success, not the world’s). I’ve started a group on Facebook called “Let’s Get Rejected” after being reminded by my awesome friend Mridu about the 100 Rejections list I used to run. I’m challenging myself and others to chase those rejections! (See the group for details and to join in.)

I’m inspired by all the changes that have taken place and those still to come. And, as always, I am thankful for you for stopping by.

Now Playing at Klocke Photography: Chava and Kara Got Married
Now Playing at MiddlePlaces.com: In the middle of a very bad day

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June 17, 2013 - 3:57 pm

Jennifer Jacoby-Smith - I’m so glad I know you! You always so inspiring to me. Hugs!

June 17, 2013 - 4:41 pm

Rachelle - I concur with Jennifer! Love you.

MiddlePlaces.com: In the middle of being weird

Photos by my daughter

In the middle of being weird
I have perhaps on occasion possibly been referred to as weird. I don’t mean “weird” as in “radical,” the awesome road many Christians have taken to reexamining their spiritual lives. No, I mean that grown-up woman who sometimes says the “wrong” thing or dances a jig or puts on a mustache and jumps with an umbrella for pictures. …continued

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Birds sing after a storm

…why shouldn’t people feel as free to delight in whatever remains to them? -Rose F. Kennedy

It’s the end of the week and I guess I thought we’d already be half moved into the new place. Instead, we sit amongst boxes, tripping over dogs as they too try to navigate the small walking trails we’ve left open. The house is in complete disarray, and our everyday life feels like it’s in limbo. We sit between homes, all boxed up in one, ready to head off to the other.

I am still without a job, without enough free time due to the aforementioned limbo to really work on my photography business (now that I can mostly work again), so I am jobless in the greater sense of the term. Add to that the ever-growing list of things I need to edit and write, and you can likely understand how unsettled I feel.

The thing is, this is a feeling that comes and goes, ebbs and flows. It doesn’t stick around for long before I’m able to shake it off, push it away, and lock it in the closet. The road to being able to do this wasn’t a short and easy one. In years past, I would close myself off, retreat, lock down, and shut people out. I would allow the woe in the situation to drown me, and I would resurface only when I found resolution.

Basically, I’d pout in a corner until I got what I wanted.

I never realized it before, that I was taking my toys and going home. That if someone made an ill comment to me or about my work, I’d shut it down. A thousand positive words couldn’t balance out the one negative.

If I looked for a job but couldn’t get the one I wanted, I wouldn’t keep the one I got.

If I wanted anything but couldn’t have it, I would find a way to shut down.

It was never a conscious decision, I’m sure. More than likely, it was how I protected myself from further pain and disappointment. But I’ve learned and grown and healed (and that journey continues). It makes a huge difference in how I respond to life itself. Now, I am better at facing the downward slope of life. I can handle the unsettledness that cycles around often. And I don’t run and quit and hide, though I have learned the value in taking breaks.

More than anything, I am thankful for the small moments. And like my beautiful friend Natalie, who even in facing death, continued to be thankful, and how my beautiful friend Rachel, in the middle of her own battle with her own mind and body, still praises God and lives in thanks, I am…thankful.

In honor of Natalie’s heaven birthday (6 years now), I am spending today compiling a list of what makes me happy, what makes me look up and say THANK YOU!

  • My strong marriage and friendship with my husband
  • 3 healthy, happy children
  • The keys to our new place
  • The ability to walk and run and push myself
  • Courage to take chances
  • The way the clouds part just so, like a peek into heaven (waves at Natalie)

  • Medicine that helps
  • Hot coffee
  • Friendships that can take the pressure of everyday life
  • Babies, babies, babies
  • Being present to hear a father say goodbye to his son
  • Inside jokes with family
  • Spring in Colorado

  • Falling asleep to the rain
  • Friends who reach out across the world to help
  • Raising money for worthy causes
  • Strength to push on
  • Books that are simply entertaining
  • Sitting on the front steps with my Kelsey, talking about life and photography
  • Good dreams
  • Remembering
  • Hope

Image by MuncyWeb, used with permission

“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” -Confucius

May we always look for the beauty in every day – may we see it and be thankful for it. When it seems like it’s too dark to see, to move forward, look around you and find the small bits of light. As you see them, really see them, the light will grow and help you see even more.

I pray you live your life looking for the light.

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MiddlePlaces.com: In the middle of letting go

As I am in the middle of a move, let me invite you to MiddlePlaces.com for my first regular weekly post –

In the middle of letting go
In the timespan of one month, I found myself pinning a police badge on one son, and placing a graduation cap on the other. Like most mothers, I’ve stared at each of these young men and wondered how it is that they are not tiny babies anymore. …continued

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When you travel your own journey

“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” -Sam Ewing

In these moments –

– I realized that when you arrive at your destination, all the bumps and forks in the road were great for learning, but the end result is this moment, the one you’re standing in. A time of pride and joy for accomplishment, whether it was a slow and steady pace or a sprint.

My boys, my sons, you hold my heart. So very different, and yet so much in common. Your hearts, the way you care, the way you see the world, all very similar in that you view it all from a place of love. You are strong, kind, and giving.

I couldn’t be prouder of the two of you if I tried.


I have more words for each of you, separately, but at the moment, I’m just too caught up in the wonder and confusion of how we got to this present day situation when you were just tiny little people only yesterday.

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June 4, 2013 - 9:35 pm

agk - testing

Graduation and other things that made me smile this week

Love this kid!

brianme-1
(Photo by the eldest)

Yeah, thumbs up!

bri_and_bry-1

You guys did it!

71

My three tiny babies -

kidlings-1

Also, spring…always spring -

spring

And, finally, this baby girl -

rachelle
taylor
(Bottom right photo by baby girl’s mommy)

What made YOU smile this week?

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May 27, 2013 - 11:31 am

Mridu Khullar Relph - Your three tiny babies are tiny indeed! :P

Book Giveaway: What a Mother Knows by Leslie Lehr

Note: I have said many times that I do not review books because I simply don’t have the time to set aside to read in a timely fashion, especially considering I read several books at the same time, and that means it can take me even longer. That said, I did agree to read and share about and hold a giveaway of this book because it sounded like a great read. What follows is NOT a review.

What a Mother Knows by Leslie Lehr

“How far will a mother go to protect her daughter?

An unsettling, emotional and suspenseful novel of the unshakable bonds of motherhood, in which Michelle Mason not only loses her memory after a deadly car crash, but can’t find her 16-year-old daughter, the one person who may know what happened that day. But the deeper Michelle digs, the more she questions the innocence of everyone, even herself.

A dramatic portrayal of the fragile skin of memory, What a Mother Knows is about finding the truth that can set love free.” -leslielehr.com

Leslie Lehr is a prize-winning author, screenwriter, and essayist who grew up in Ohio. Join her on Facebook or Twitter.
Photo by Megan Stark Photography

I jumped into this book a few weeks ago ready for an emotional ride. And that’s exactly what I got.

According to others who reviewed the book:

“I can’t help but think that this book would make terrific Lifetime Movie. It’s got all the elements that you expect. A little tragedy, family drama, the mystery of the missing daughter, and the strained relationship between Michelle and her mother.” -Crochet Nirvana

“This novel just about ripped my heart out. The struggles that Michelle goes through during the book are heartbreaking yet inspiring.” -Chick Lit Reviews

Yes and yes.

If you’d like to go on your own emotional ride with Leslie Lehr, you can win a copy of What a Mother Knows by simply hitting the Facebook “Like” button on this blog post, or sharing via Twitter or Pinterest, AND commenting or sending me an email with your interest. Easy-peasy!

Drawing will end May 31, 2013. Winner will be contacted and announced here June 1, and the publisher will mail out your copy directly.

Ready? Win a copy!

Join others on this book tour -


April 29 – Robin Reads & Writes
May 1 - Chick Lit is Not Dead
May 2 - Bookfoolery
May 3 - The Bookworm
May 4 - Lori’s Reading Corner
May 5 - The Self Taught Cook
May 6 - Mrs Condit Reads Books
May 7 - From the TBR Pile
May 8 - Cocktails and Books
May 9 - Burton Book Review
May 10 - Chick Lit Plus
May 12 - The Book Diva’s Reads
May 13 - Peeking Between the Pages
May 14 - Long and Short Reviews
May 15 - Rainy Day Ramblings
May 16 - Help4NewMoms
May 17 - Winey Mommy
May 18 - Cozy Up with a Good Read
May 20 - A Bookish Way of Life
May 21 – Confessions of a Book Junkie
May 22 - 5 Minutes for Mom
May 23 - Angela Giles Klocke YOU ARE HERE!
May 24 - WeeShare
May 26 - Brianna Lee
May 28 - Reviewing Shelf
May 29 - Socrates Book Reviews
May 31 - Passionate about Books

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June 1, 2013 - 11:25 pm

Sandie W - Thanks for sharing this….this book is going to the top of my MRL!