Let’s redefine HERO

Dictionary.com Definition:
he·ro [heer-oh]
noun, plural he·roes

a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal

Too often, I watch the news and see the word “hero” being thrown about with little concern for what really makes a hero. I won’t say who I do not believe heroes are according to the media, but will instead share who the heroes are in my life — because you may never hear about them otherwise, but they are amazing people to me.

A hero is the nurse who treats you with compassion when some of the other nurses don’t because they don’t like that you’re a fourteen-year-old mom. Thank you, Nancy.

A hero is the home nurse who visits, listens, and does not judge you as a mother or as a person, who even goes the extra mile and helps you find childcare so you can return to high school. Thank you, Mary.

A hero is a school vice-principal who takes on a fatherly role, and through the years always checks on you to make sure everything is all right with “that boy,” and who “tips” you $50 when he knows you are in a desperate place in life. Thank you, Mr. Williams.

A hero is a business owner who takes the time to listen during an interview and then hires you because she wants to help, and then sends you flowers while you’re working in her business, just to cheer you up. Thank you, Rose.

A hero is a newspaper editor who looks a seventeen-year-old high school dropout in the eye and decides she’s worth giving a chance. Thank you, Skipper.

A hero is a doctor who treats you like a person, not just another patient, and who takes the time to fully explain what’s happening to you by drawing on your hospital sheets, and declares there’s no way he’s going to let you leave two sons behind. Thank you, Dr. Kitchens.

A hero is the woman who answers her phone in the middle of the night and then drives over 20 miles away to pick you and your small children up from the Greyhound bus station because she’s afraid of what might happen if she waits until morning. Thank you, Miriam.

A hero is a good samaritan who comes to a screeching halt and tells a carload of guys to take off, helping you as you’re stranded on the side of the road, and then insists on driving you to work, even though it’s 20 miles in the opposite direction, just so you won’t lose your job; and she won’t even tell you her name because it’s not important to her to be thanked any further. Thank you, Anonymous Angel.

A hero is the Avon Lady who shows up to sell product but then stays as a friend to pray with you during the most troubling times of your life, and who tracks you down fifteen years later to see how you are. Thank you, Leah.

A hero is a detective who has your back when so many others are against you, who steps in and hears you and believes you. Thank you, Detective Duncan.

A hero is the counselor who charges more than you can afford but instead of turning you away, adjusts her fees to something you can’t say no to, and then walks with you through healing. Thank you, Liz.

A hero is any number of people I get to work with at the pregnancy center and in the victim assistance program. Thank you, Volunteers!

A hero is a husband and best friend who holds your hand through the unpacking of all the baggage, through medical appointments for a body that has been rebelling for years, and through each minute milestone of life itself. Thank you, John.

Who are your heroes? Tell them!

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Friday Five

This week (not that I’m consistent at posting every Friday), I want to share with you 5 blog posts (or a series) I think you should take the time to read -

1 – The Self-Defense Series at Stacey’s Daze
An A-Z 26-part series on self-defense with so much great information and insight.
Start here — A: Announcement

2 – Hating Teenagers at lindasherwood.com
“Yesterday, my newsfeed included a story about two pregnant teens who were asked to retake photos for the yearbook because the photos they submitted included their ‘baby bump.’ Personally, this story touched home with me because last year, it was my daughter who was the pregnant girl in the classroom.”

3 – 22 Things Happy People Do Differently
“There are two types of people in the world: those who choose to be happy, and those who choose to be unhappy.”

4 – How To Pick A Fight and Do Something That Matters by Bob Goff
“I want to pick a fight where I can make a meaningful difference somewhere in the world. It’s not a fight with a particular person or institution; I want to pick one fight among the many fights being waged on the planet and see if there is a way I can get some skin in the game; to help in some way; to make a tangible difference.”

5 – Lora’s Tiara Project Post at MyCamoKids.com
“Maybe tomorrow I will have the courage. Maybe tomorrow I will find the right words. Maybe tomorrow it will be easier. Maybe tomorrow I can be brave. Maybe tomorrow the idea of what I am about to share won’t leave me a shaking, sick, fearful mess. Maybe.”

Bonus: I’d like to invite you to read or re-read a post I made in 2011 (which I was reminded of by Linda’s post above) and please share it.

Your life is NOT over
Open Letter to Pregnant and/or Parenting Teenagers
“I know you. I’ve been you. In many ways, I still am you, minus the middle of the night wake-ups to feed baby. I still have the same children I gave birth to when I was young (14), and I’m still too young to have children the ages that they now are (21, 16, 14).*”
*They are now almost-23, 18, and 16!

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A precious new baby and other things that made me smile this week

These two. A less-than-a-week-old beautiful baby girl with her beautiful mommy -

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Finding old favorite pictures -

dance

Stopping by the skate park and watching my honey have fun -

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Amazing gifts from my eldest and his girl (Africa!) -

africa

Funny conversations with Kara -

kara_convo

The ongoing War of the Living Room -

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May 11, 2013 - 5:33 pm

Rachelle - Love all the pictures!!!! I always enjoy seeing pictures of the Star Wars decorating battle! And seeing you made me smile this week!!!

Because there’s no need to reinvent the wheel

I truly believe there is space for each of us and our ideas. However, sometimes you need to concede that you might possibly just be trying to do the very same thing others have already succeeded at launching, and why not just join them instead of starting over?

The Tiara Project — I have let it go for several reasons.

    1. Turns out, there is a Tiara Project elsewhere, and though their awesome concept isn’t the same, I believe it’s important and a beautiful idea. (Check it out!) I’ve fielded a lot of questions that were meant for them; the name confusion shouldn’t be an issue.
    2. It’s a lot of work to get three different names branded (my own, my photography business, plus Tiara) and blog and in general keep up with it all. When I have so many other interests, it just makes sense to integrate the work I want to do in with this blog right here.
    3. I already do a lot of work within the awareness and assistance topic of abuse. To spend every day, every week writing about it consistently is just too much. It gets too heavy.
    4. I’ve healed so much, and I believe I can continue writing from a better perspective.
    5. There are already so many amazing awareness programs out there that I would be better off joining and participating instead of distracted with my own attempts. I’m at a point in life where, as much as I am a self-starter and go-getter, sometimes someone else has done it much better and I can just join their fantastic efforts instead.

I do many things well, and I enjoy variety in my life. I’m also leaning into changes that are taking place, new directions, journeys that are leading me more into active participation in this world, not just writing from the confines of my home or my own memories. Experience. Situations. Life.

Simplifying my life while also complicating it excites me. Letting go and decluttering my heart and mind is refreshing and right on time.

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Stop believing the lies and let go

We sat on my front steps, letting the warmth of the day wash over us, the breeze flipping our hair, and we finally said the words that had been eating at both our hearts for months:

“I thought you probably hated me.”

“Me too.”

The thing is, this supposed hate grew out of a minor bump in the road, not the big kind of blow up that you might assume. Neither stole anything nor gossiped nor even lashed out. It was a matter of a parting of ways (in business) due to uncontrollable circumstances (health), and yet the lie was whispered and from there it took life of its own. We both heard it, we both listened to it, and we both took it into our fragile hearts.

I don’t know why we do that. I don’t know if it’s a personality thing or an everyone deal. What I do know is that it’s time to stop it. Stop believing the lies. Stop making up stories that aren’t even close to true.

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” -Mark Twain

Whether it’s a relationship, a career change, volunteer work, or going back to school, stop imagining what could happen, what might be happening already, and just confront the idea of the lie. If you think your best friend is annoyed by you, talk about it. If you think a new career is too scary, research it. Don’t let made-up lies stop you from giving yourself and your time to a charity or keeping you from school.

Let go of fear and what if? and stop letting lies hold you back from friendships, jobs, and helping others.

And this:

If you put it down, don’t you dare pick it back up!

If you decide to stop believing your friend hates you, don’t revisit the idea the next day. If you come to the conclusion that the new career is a great idea, don’t over-think it all over again. There’s no life down that dead end road.

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