Radical Change

“Time, which changes people, does not alter the image we have retained of them.” -Marcel Proust

“Hm, I never read Proust, I always wanted to. Every now and then, I’m seized with an overwhelming urge to say something like ‘As Marcel Proust would say…’ but of course I have no idea what Marcel Proust would say so I don’t even go there.” -Lorelai Gilmore*

My theme** for 2012 was Radical Change. When I kicked off the new year with an extreme haircut and then started at University, I thought I was off to a great start. Short hair and education — radical!

Yeah, not so much.

I remember a couple of friends telling me that I was brave for taking Radical Change on as my theme. I guess I had no idea what they meant, but then the rest of the year happened, and now…yeah, now I get it. Life changed in many ways over the past 12 months. There was much pain and loss and chaos and and and…my heart hurts just thinking about it.

But in the middle of all that, life happened. Change did take place. What began as yet another failure with school actually led to the counseling I so badly needed to really begin to let go of the pains of my past. Leaving University carried with it the image of quitting again, but it was really reaching out for what I needed and wanted beyond anything else: healing and forgiveness.

The image I have retained of myself is not an accurate portrait of who I am now versus who I was on January 1, 2012. And it helps me see that radical change did indeed take place. I’m not who I was, or rather, I AM who I have always been, only more so myself than ever before – a radical change from hiding to stepping out to shine.

So as I step into 2013, I am boldly embracing what God has in store for me, be it good, be it scary, just let it be.

*WHY did I quote Lorelai Gilmore from Gilmore Girls? Because she’s Lorelai Gilmore. DUH! And plus, as soon as I came across the Proust quote, I could hear Lorelai in my head. She’s one of my TV BFFs, just so you know.

**Tomorrow: My 2013 Theme

***Yes yes yes, I changed the look of the blog again. (Stop looking at me like that, Mridu!) Though the clean look of the one before this was something I wanted, I could not get away from the fact that it didn’t quite function correctly. Alas, here we are with a new change. Embrace it!