I’m that kind of girl

“We all participate in weaving the social fabric; we should therefore all participate in patching the fabric when it develops holes.” -Anne C. Weisberg

I’m the kind of girl who believes in goals, in dreaming big, in miracles. I’m the kind of girl who gets excited about ideas and wants you to hear about them. I’m the kind of girl who loves to try new things, and who is also open to letting go of new things if they aren’t all I hoped they’d be. I’m the kind of girl who changes my mind, returns to the past, visits the future, and lives in the moment. I’m the kind of girl who doesn’t believe ideas will fail, but when they do, I move on to the next.

I’m the kind of girl who believes we can make good things out of the bad. I am so often accused of living in the past, too focused on what was and not looking ahead. Others encourage me to let go, move on, stop dwelling, stop writing about it, just stop. But I’m the kind of girl who doesn’t believe in waste. I didn’t go through and survive my past to then just put it behind me and pretend it doesn’t make up much of who I am today.

If they still made soap boxes, I would stand on one and cry out about so many injustices, pleading with you to pay attention, to help, to get active, to let go of passivity (and know this: I am also working on that), to take steps, to listen, to act, to give, to learn, to become aware, to do your part, play your part, take what you’ve been through and use it, to walk a mile in my shoes, or the shoes of a rape victim, or the shoes of the homeless (if they even have shoes), or the shoes of the broken. I would beg you to DO SOMETHING!

And I would remind myself to DO SOMETHING too.

Something more, something extra, something beyond sitting behind my desk, tapping out these words, hoping they land on the screens before the right people, the ones who also want to DO SOMETHING!

“I truly believe we can overwhelm the darkness of this world by shining something brighter and more beautiful.”
-The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical, Shane Claiborne

These things I carry around, this baggage? It has a new name: Tools. With these experiences, I write to share, to let others know they aren’t alone, to raise awareness. With these experiences, I can sit before a young pregnant girl and know what kinds of fears go through her mind and heart. My toolbox is full of emotion and pain, but they do not go to waste. Trying to carefully unpack my past into the comfort of a counselor’s office, hoping to leave it all there…that doesn’t work for me. Dealing with it head on is good, a very good thing, but it’s not like confession, pouring it out, forgiving, and then walking away and never looking back. You have to look it all square in the eye and say, “What shall I do with this?” And then do something. Not slowly or one day or very carefully, but with vigor, courage, and heart.

“I had a college professor who said, ‘All around you, people will be tiptoeing through life, just to arrive at death safely. But dear children, do not tiptoe. Run, hop, skip, or dance, just don’t tiptoe.’” -The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical by Shane Claiborne

The Tiara Project has not been all that I dreamed it would be. Not so far. Do I give up? No, I do not! I believe in this idea. I believe it came to be from higher than my own brain. I believe it brings together all the tools I have with all the talents I’ve been gifted with, and I believe it will be all that I have ever hoped it would be. Maybe not this month for this goal, but I believe in the project because I believe in the love we can all pour into each other. I’m the kind of girl who believes in love, in loving those who can’t always return it, in loving those who have hurt us, in loving those who have been hurt. I believe in the good of people, despite what the news tells us. I’m the kind of girl who prefers the bright side of things, even if I sometimes get caught up in the dark. I am the kind of girl who just wants to take each day forward using what has already happened to build up others and love.

I am that kind of girl, the one who bounces, who sings, who rises from the ashes again and again. And I’m the kind of girl who is reaching my hand out to you to ask if you need help. Or do you want to help? Let’s DO SOMETHING!

“Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.” -Michael Leunig