“I think I’m going to be a writer and a photographer and see where that takes me instead of trying to force it to take me somewhere.”
I wrote that in my last post. I know what I meant when I said it, but I have chewed it over for the last couple of days, tasting the idea of not trying to force myself into a person I am not. That is not to say I won’t work hard, but rather that I am me, not someone else, and I will not keep taking the same road others are taking. I have to do this based on who I am, what my heart desires, what I know is right for me.
This is an idea I have to revisit often, because I so easily get caught up in the “shoulds” of business and discipline. But I am slowly realizing how little there is for me in trying to follow the rules of others. It’s kind of like trying to keep up with someone who runs a mile every morning. I can’t even run right now, let alone a mile, and yet I often allow their mile accomplishment to leave a mark on my own personal accomplishments of the day. Silly!
Right now, my goal is to fall back in love – and stay there – with writing and photography. To pursue them full-time because to ignore them leaves me a little (a lot!) dead inside; to breathe words onto paper and life into photos because I am not fully alive when I don’t. And ultimately, if it leads me anywhere, all the better. But if all I ever get to do is write and take photos for the simple love of it, that will be enough.
I will do the things I need to do for business and to publish, but not at the expense of my love. No, not anymore. I’m just going to go with it.
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Stacey - Madeline Le’Engle said her children looked at her one day and said, “You need to get back to the typewriter. You are better when you have spent time there.” Or something similar to that. I think too often we think we have to fit this or that label and then exclude anything of us that doesn’t. Silly us. Silly me. We are more than one label in so many ways, and it is in taking that all in that we become more fully us. You just keep doing what you do. You do it well.
agk - Amen! And thank you.
Mridu Khullar Relph - There is no ONE way. There is only YOUR way. I remember trying to do things a certain way– the American way– as a new freelancer and it just didn’t work for me. Eventually, some way, somehow, I managed to find my way. And now it seems so obvious and so straightforward, as if that is THE way. I love the thought of just going with it. Stop obsessing over it for a while and see where you land. Good luck!
agk - Yup yup yup! It’s definitely freeing creatively when I can just let go.