“I think I’m going to be a writer and a photographer and see where that takes me instead of trying to force it to take me somewhere.”
I wrote that in my last post. I know what I meant when I said it, but I have chewed it over for the last couple of days, tasting the idea of not trying to force myself into a person I am not. That is not to say I won’t work hard, but rather that I am me, not someone else, and I will not keep taking the same road others are taking. I have to do this based on who I am, what my heart desires, what I know is right for me.
This is an idea I have to revisit often, because I so easily get caught up in the “shoulds” of business and discipline. But I am slowly realizing how little there is for me in trying to follow the rules of others. It’s kind of like trying to keep up with someone who runs a mile every morning. I can’t even run right now, let alone a mile, and yet I often allow their mile accomplishment to leave a mark on my own personal accomplishments of the day. Silly!
Right now, my goal is to fall back in love – and stay there – with writing and photography. To pursue them full-time because to ignore them leaves me a little (a lot!) dead inside; to breathe words onto paper and life into photos because I am not fully alive when I don’t. And ultimately, if it leads me anywhere, all the better. But if all I ever get to do is write and take photos for the simple love of it, that will be enough.
I will do the things I need to do for business and to publish, but not at the expense of my love. No, not anymore. I’m just going to go with it.